Ah, the Biden administration, where every day feels like an episode of Ban It All! The FDA is steamrolling ahead with a nicotine crackdown that would effectively ban most cigarettes currently on the market. That’s right—your Marlboros are now public enemy number one. Instead, we’ll get “healthier” cigarettes with laughably low nicotine levels because that’ll totally stop people from smoking, right? Spoiler alert: it won’t. Experts are already predicting that black market cartels are popping champagne over this regulatory goldmine.

Rich Marianos, former ATF bigwig and current chairman of the Tobacco Law Enforcement Network, summed it up best: “This ban is a gift-wrapped jackpot for cartels, Chinese counterfeiters, and Russian mafia types.” You know, just the wholesome crowd you want benefitting from public policy. According to Marianos, this rule is going to make the streets more dangerous, keep Americans puffing away on unregulated cigarettes, and somehow manage to make smoking worse while claiming to make it better. Bravo, FDA.

As of January 3, the FDA says the rule passed regulatory review, but it’s not finalized yet. Translation: they’re still pretending to listen to feedback. Fox News asked the White House for comment, but apparently, they were too busy trying to figure out what else to ban—plastic straws? Fun? Who knows.

This isn’t Biden’s first attempt at cigarette prohibition. Remember the proposed menthol ban from last year? Yeah, that bombshell was “delayed” after a public backlash. Now, they’re back with this new nicotine reduction plan under the guise of protecting public health. Lower nicotine, they argue, will help people quit smoking and prevent kids from getting hooked. Critics—yes, even those rare bipartisan unicorns—are warning that this genius plan is more likely to spark a black market free-for-all black market, where cartels and smugglers take center stage in the great underground cigarette bonanza.

Oh, and if you think this is about saving lives, let’s not forget the unintended side effects. Workers are taking more smoke breaks to get their fix, productivity is tanking, and communities are flooded with counterfeit products. Nice work, Biden. You’ve not only failed to fix smoking but also managed to supercharge organized crime. At this rate, don’t be surprised if the next thing on the chopping block is coffee—because, you know, caffeine is addictive, too.